A Whole New Prayer Life

July 7, 2013

Before my life here begun, prayer was something I may have done before bed, before meals, with the students in my class, and in church when I went to mass on Sundays (and other church related holidays/events). Those prayers consisted of thoughtful, meaningful connections with Christ. Most of the time those prayers would be traditional prayers like the Lord's Prayer or the Hail Mary or sometimes a decade of the rosary. In church I would meet Jesus in mass and thoughtfully reflect on the words in gospel readings and the words of the priests during homilies and opening/closing prayers. Many times, I’d talk to God before bed, asking him for help and forgiveness, peace and solace about situations in my life or from that day. All that sounds good, right? Nope, wrong. All that is called the bare minimum, or at least for me it was the bare minimum. And I realized that when I got to Africa. After a few weeks in, I realized that my relationship with God had become a little more personal and that’s exactly what needed to happen. If I was going to live 9,000 miles away from home in the crime ridden slums of Africa, I was seriously going to need God on my right shoulder helping me through each day. I was going to need more than a few traditional, robotic prayers and a feel-good weekly Sunday mass to get me through the first few transitional weeks and then the long months to come.

I noticed my prayer life changing the moment I stepped off the airplane in the Joburg airport. I instantly stopped, checked my swollen ankles, looked around at the herd of people around and I thanked God for landing me here safely. I thanked him for getting me to at least that point on my journey. Then as I went through the customs checkpoint and the man spoke the welcoming words that he did (see my first June blog), I knew it was God saying, "Your Welcome. You're in the right plac. Now keep going". That was the beginning of my new prayer life. From that moment on, I began talking to God all throughout the day. The first few days, our conversations were mostly me saying, "Thank you" and He saying, "Your welcome. Now keep going". And the first few nights our conversations were me asking Him to, "Please let me make it through this night alive". Each bright, sunny morning was His way of saying, "You've got another day, now go get at it!" However, through the past month, there has been a constant each and every day. There isn't a day that goes by when I don't say to God, "Wow, this is amazing." Whether it's my amazement with the wonderful children I meet or the incredible landscapes I see on vacations or the peacefulness of a new simple life, everyday there are things that I find myself telling God, "Wow, this is amazing and you're amazing for creating it."

At night I still try and say some of our traditional prayers, especially the Guardian Angel prayer. I need that guy on my side too, to help God in keeping me safe. This place is scary with a capital S! But at night is when I spend time thinking about my family and friends. As I drift off to sleep, I like to look through pictures on my phone of family and friends. I like to re-read text or email messages between us all. I think about what they would be doing at that point, since its mid-day for them as its bedtime for me. Doing all of that is what keeps me feeling close to them. God gives me peace when I do this. It's like his way of saying, "You're loved, supported and thought about. Now go to sleep because tomorrow, like every other, is a whole new can of worms and you need to get rest!"

Then, the icing on the cake is weekly Sunday mass. Every word the priest says has become more meaningful as I know it is God speaking to me. I have found myself singing louder and prouder with each song with a feeling of "I don't care who can hear my terrible voice!"

So, am I spitting out bibles versus and always glowing and only thinking and saying spiritual things and healing the world now that I'm in Africa and I've got this wonderful new prayer life and closeness to God!! No way, Jose. I am far from that stuff. I still have some of those same struggles and flaws as before. I am imperfect. However, I am also aspirational, with big goals and ambitions. My hope (one of many hopes actually) is that, through my work and mission here and through my new relationship with Christ, I can be the best version of me and be at peace with it. Because once you’re at peace with yourself, you can be at peace with everything else. How wonderful that would be!